Wednesday's child

As the saying goes, Wednesday's child is full of woe. Having been born on a Wednesday, I've often wondered whether this saying might actually have something to it or if I am at times more woeful simply because I have the saying to give me an excuse for wallowing in woe. I guess you could say I've been a bit woeful lately and have been letting various things bother me. The fencing issue, for example. I decided to remove that post in my bests interests thanks to some advice from a friend - thanks AR. I've also been rather lonely lately. Despite numerous efforts this summer to meet new people and make new friends, now that summer is drawing to a close I don't feel that I have a whole lot to show for all of my efforts. When I moved back to the US from Germany in 2007/8, I had no idea how difficult it would be to meet new people and make new friends - as well as simply reconnect with old friends who had, by then, naturally moved on with their lives. My Meyers-Brigg type is INTJ and that may explain a lot of my difficulties. I don't feel comfortable in large group settings and tend to avoid them. I also don't find it particularly easy to start up conversations with complete strangers. Yet this summer I really tried to put myself in situations that were not necessarily the most comfortable for me. I went to every single Germany game of the World Cup at a Bavarian restaurant and interacted with several new people, but nothing really came of that (except the date with stinky man). Forget about dating for a moment, I really just want a few meaningful friendships around here. As much as I'm not really a group person, I have the longing to be part of a group and to feel like I belong. Even as a child I avoided groups and have always found ways to isolate myself - including hanging out with adults as opposed to children my own age. Now that I'm an adult, this is a bit of a problem, especially given that I am a master excuse maker when it comes to finding reasons not to do things. I'm a member of at least 8 different Meetup groups, but have probably been to less than 8 events total since joining in 2007. The real challenge is to stop making excuses, to believe that people might actually like me and that I could perhaps fit in somewhere and just start going to events that present themselves. Thankfully a high school friend and his wife frequently include me in their activities and I've been able to meet some of their friends. I don't know many of them very well yet - nor they me - but there will be plenty of opportunities, including a weekend trip to the mountains in October.

I just feel that the older one gets, the harder it is to find valuable friendships. Superficial acquaintances don't interest me much, but at the same time I believe true friendship to be something rare. On the radio yesterday I heard them say that the average person has 5 real friends and when someone gets into a serious relationship that number goes down to 3. I'd say that's pretty much true. The problem is that with the exception of my childhood best friend, most of my other best friends live either in other states or Germany, making it difficult to get together on a regular basis. Friends in new relationships drop off the radar for a while, which is fine because I prefer not to be a 3rd wheel and am not a big fan of PDA. Who knows, I might even be a bit jealous - but at least I'll admit it. Friends who are married and have children are in their own category as they have - for understandable reasons - completely different priorities and lives that I cannot even begin to understand. I may only see those friends a few of times a year, which doesn't diminish the value of the friendship, though it does make it more of a challenge to maintain those relationships.

Anyway, enough ranting about that for now. I'll get to the Harry/Sally dilemma eventually. For now I need to get started on my day.