Reasons for rejection

Now that things have more or less gotten back to normal, I can devote some of my writing to things other than dachshunds - such as dating and dating disasters. I was at the Greek Festival today and a friend asked me if I liked dates - I said I love them, as long as they are the fruit variety as opposed to the people variety!

I had to issue another rejection today, this time to the person who gave me the idea to start writing for at least 15 minutes a day, which in fact gave birth to this blog just one week ago. So what was wrong with this guy? I could tell from our e-mail correspondence that he would be a bit of a stiff intellectual. I absolutely love brains and intellect, but not when a person feels the need to flaunt it in your face in every sentence. Like me, this guy had also spent a year teaching English in Germany on a Fulbright, but I think that might be the only thing we had in common. His German was not at the level I would prefer in a future partner, but that is besides the point. He is a PhD student in Classics and I simply could not relate to his interests, nor did I feel inspired to learn more about them. I believe that you can tell within 5 minutes of meeting a person whether there is a potential for a spark, and in this case there was nothing there. If anything, he only made things worse by trying to boast on his intellect, which further alienated me from the conversation. I found myself wanting to look at the watch to see how long I had already endured and was relieved when he finally said he had to go. I also don't like it when guys wear huge class rings, which he did - I find them obnoxious. Since meeting for the first and last time last Saturday, he wrote two e-mails, to which I finally responded today to let him know that I just didn't think we had enough in common to hang out again. In addition to the fact that I sensed absolutely no connection, he is nearly 7 years younger and lives almost an hour away. If there were some sort of a spark, I might not even have a problem with that, but given that there wasn't, why waste time, gas and energy? I'd rather just be honest than drag someone along just to keep from hurting their feelings. He'll get over it.

Another reason I'll never go out with a guy again is if they don't pay for me on a date. I call this the "litmus test". According to John Grey, author of Mars and Venus on a Date, the man should always pay on dates until the couple has reached exclusivity, in which case the woman may also treat her man. This may sound a bit old-fashioned and for my European readers perhaps a bit strange, but in American dating culture this is the way things work and the way they are supposed to be. My litmus test goes like this. On a first date I always offer to pay for my portion. A gentleman either a) never even gives me the opportunity to offer and takes care of the bill when I go to the restroom or b) refuses to accept my offer to pay my portion and says "I've got it". If a guy takes my money, he can be assured that he will never be hearing from me again. This also happened recently, but since that particular guy wasn't my type, I was actually OK with it. I wasn't planning on going out with him again anyway.

More on rejection reasons another time. For now I'd like to relax and enjoy what's left of the weekend. I'll also be posting another picture recipe soon.